Ever get that feeling....

You know you've done nothing wrong, but you feel like you've just failed a very important test? On Father's Day the minister at church gave a sermon on what a good father/husband is & how the wife/mother is supposed to treat him. True he pretty much gave the same sermon for Mother's Day, but it's funny how when the situation is turned you don't like the way things go. I listened to each point he made, thinking to myself "yes.. I did that", "Ok, I didn't do that" & "no...I guess I didn't do that either". I was shocked by the thoughts of "yes..I used to do that, but haven't lately". And of course I had an answer in retaliation as to why I didn't do whatever anymore. At the same time I just feel bad that here's a man that I guess is trying his best to be a better man in spite of himself & I just don't feel the same love for him I once did. I think certain actions opened my eyes to the type of person he really is, & deep down I know that no matter how much he says he will change I know certain things will never change. I just feel bad that you give your best & it just isn't enough. It's not fair to be in a marriage where it is clear that only 1 person is in love with the other. Things should be reciprocal...and they haven't been for quite some time.
Today I am feeling a bit lonely... like my friend won't talk to me. I did something to make them mad... & I don't even know what that something is! All I know is when I know I hurt my friend, I want to try to make amends...but you can't when your friend won't talk to you, right? Now this analogy isn't about any 1 friend in particular...but more like the whole group of friends! Everyone listed in my cellphone address book is supposed to sit there & wait for my call....but no one has been available lately! I can only talk to a voicemail message for so long! lol