It's 3am I must be lonely....

Wasn't there a song w/ that line? I don't feel like Googling it right now. I find this very frustrating. Frustrating but this will be my life for a while. Sleeplessness if one of the symptoms of menopause. I saw the dr. yesterday...we went over the results of the blood test & he wanted to do an ultrasound of my uterus... TMI, right? Well it's a good thing we did. The scan revealed 2 cysts on my ovaries...1 of which is the same size as my uterus! AHHH!!! I had ovarian cysts before... or at least one. It was PAINFUL & made me sick for 3 days. I wonder why it's not happening this time?



Why am I up at 3am on a Wednesday morning. Usually I have to sleep for work the next day, but this Wednesday is my baby girl's 5th birthday! OH MAN she's growing so fast. I can remember the events leading up to her delivery date. I was on bed rest due to preeclampsia. I was told my B/P was getting too high so they scheduled me for induction on 12/13/02... a Friday. OH NO! I do not want my baby born on Friday the 13th. Get me in on the 12th or 14th! The nurse refused....& somehow I worried myself into labor. She was born at 11:33pm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!

And oh yeah... it only took me 10 years to get the hang of that hair braiding thing!

But anyway....the lonely thing. Yeah, sometimes I am I guess. It's funny how people can tell you " You're funny", "You're very pretty", you're all those usual qualities that people would look for in a mate...yet it's hard to find a match. I guess that's why the internet dating thing it such big business. I haven't gotten to the point of needing to pay a service to find someone for me. I need to be concentrating on myself anyway. But you know.... sometimes I wish I had that someone to talk to before I went to sleep... on the few nights I CAN fall asleep. Would be nice just to have an adult hug once in a while. I'm learning... I can let people hug me every once in a while...it's not so bad anymore.

OH OH YEAH!! I just learned today how my superiors don't listen to anything I say about my personal life. My husband moved out in May, 2007. That's means we're seperated, right? I know over the course of the summer I've talked several times about changing my name... taking my maiden name back....& no one really said anything. When 2 guys in the office were getting married they talked about bachelor parties & wedding planners. I talked about divorce planners....what a great job that would be for me once I'm done w/mine! I could hear the crickets sing. So I just stopped talking to them. The news paper article about in in October had my maiden name, but no one really said anything about it. My Making Strides Against Breast Cancer webpage clearly stated that over the summer I began living the life of a single mother...but no one caught that. The head of the dept. sent emails wanting RSVPs for the christmas party. I stated it'll just be me & the kids...for the rest of my life. No repsonse.
Today as I showed off my scrapbook of the Atlanta trip, somehow the secretary & I got on the topic of name changes...and the light bulb finally clicked on. He says," Uh, Ouida.... what's going on? Something you want to tell me? You're making changes?" Yes sir....I'm getting divorced... been pretty much talking about it since May!
Maybe I should have just put it on a post-it note.