An explanation of silence...

I'm sorry I haven't been very vocal lately. I've been rather hurt, upset, & not understanding why this happened. On a particular Sunday morning I was told that my friend's 9 year old son hung himself in his bedroom. Of course my 1st words were "NOOOO!!!" It's not possible. There's no way a 9 year old can be so distraught about anything that they seriously contemplate suicide... let alone carry it through. And I know his mother is a prayerful woman of God. So how can something like this happen. I can only imagine her pain... and I know I only felt maybe a tenth of that pain as I also have a son. I can't imagine losing him in a similar manner. So in a way I've been in a sort of grieving pattern for my friend's son. He will be missed... and we know he is with our heavenly father now, so at least we can smile about that.

So I'm trying to break the silence now.... trying to become more vocal & outgoing. I'm making new friends... or at least acquaintances. Still not dating, but sometimes wish I would. Honestly...sometimes it would be nice to know that at the end of the day there's that special someone that I think about who's also thinking about me. Maybe there is & I just haven't met him yet. Or maybe I met him & we just haven't solidified anything towards dating yet. Or maybe I just need to accept the fact that I'm just too chicken to put myself out there. Or too picky? It's alway too something... right?

So I recently decided to stop putting things off & do things for myself. Or course I always put God & the kids first, but I need to do nice things for me once in a while. For the 1st time since 2003 I got myself a new pair of glasses...and WOW. The frames are not black! My mom was shocked. I might just get another pair as well....for the sexy smart mom look. lol