What I REALLY wanted to say is...

So I get a message that he intends to pick the kids up from school this Friday. Doesn't he work on Friday? Did his schedule change? I think it would have been nice to know that before I made my own plans with them... so I simply replied
Actually, I had plans w/ them for dinner w/some church folk. Can I just drop them off afterward as I've been doing?
NO courtesy whatsoever... I get this reply/attack from him
U done that thus far, controling my timeframe, what time r they going to b here
Why does every question I ask have to be about me trying to control something? I'm their mom! I can remember a certain Friday when he didn't even let me know that his schedule changed & they sat there at the daycare until 7:30!! So I try to co-ordinate pick-up and drop off times... is that wrong?
UGH!!! I JUST WANT TO GO OFF ON HIM SOMETIMES but I can't. It's not in my nature to do that until I have really been pushed. As a child of God I'm not going to let him do that to me. Instead I drop the plans I had & reply
Oh...my bad. Do whatever you like. I'll pick up on Sat. by 4pm.
but I need to get this off my chest in 1 way or another so what I REALLY wanted to say was:
That "controlling your timeframe" excuse is getting old... you need to come up w/ something new.
Are you saying you are off on Fridays now? Is this an every Friday you are off thing so I don't have to worry about transporting them for your weekend visits? Please explain to me how I am controlling your time on the weekend visits when I was not aware that you even had the extra time to spend with them? Last Friday's visit for example, had I KNOWN that you were home I would have agreed to let you take them Trick -or treating.. or let them miss out... whatever you chose cuz it's YOUR time. I didn't know you were home! All I ask for is the courtesy of letting me know when your schedule changes as far as your visitation times w/ them so that the pick-ups & drop off's can be properly co-ordinated and I don't go making promises of special plans with them that will be broken.

Controlling your time is the last thing I want to do, so go ahead & let the school know you are picking them up ( cuz I'm not controlling your pick ups, remember?). I'll pick them up by 4pm on Sat. so you can spend every second w/them before you go to work since time is such a priority on your visitation time-clock