A victim of amphibian assault.

Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd say... but I was. I think I was the target of a hit put out by the frog gang of the Ft. Myers area. Already mad that I don't open my garage door for them to hop on in freely anymore... they staged their assault in a different manner... and it's definitely taught me a lesson in being kind to strange creatures.
Tuesday on my lunch break I hopped in the car & started to drive over to the Wal-mart store. While waiting at the intersection for traffic to pass I noticed what I think was a gopher tortoise about to leave the grassy area & walk straight into the 4 laned street to who knows where... but it never would have made it. On 4 lanes of traffic in lunch hour no one would stop for a turtle crossing... & I just didn't want to be a witness to a run-over so I pulled my car over, hopped out, grabbed the turle & put it back in the grass facing the pond. I didn't get a thank you or anything...but I know I saved it's life.
The next morning on my way to work, driving down a similar 4 lane road something SMACKED me in my right ear, then kind of slithered or crawled down my neck. No the passenger side window wasn't open, so it's not like someone threw something that just happen to fly through the window. As I was stuned and grossed out... not know what the heck that cold, wet thing I just felt was... I hurried to pull over to the side of the road. I had to investigate. I jumped out of the car & looked back behind my seat to where whatever it was could have fallen. I see my black nylon jacket now has tiny wet footprints... slime prints on it. Then it occurs to me...IT WAS A FROG and now it's in the car unseen! I have too much stuff in the car. I can't find it. I gotta drive to work with this thing possibly hopping around in the car to maybe hit me again! EEEEWWW!
So I open the windows & drive on to where I was going in the first place. When I parked & got out, I noticed the frog sitting on the front passenger seat next to where I was... sitting BY MY LUNCH BOX! Oh no, it's got to go. O called in to ask one of the techs to get a broom or something because I was not about to take my eyes off of it & I didn't want to touch it. While the tech sweep that thing out I racked my brain trying to figure out where it came from.. how it got in the car to begin with.. why it chose to jump on me!
It took a while, but I found the answer. There was an organized hit on that turtle that I saved the day before. He was the mob boss from the bog. Running thang down at the slough & the frogs had enough and decided to take him out. They made the arrangement for him to take that walk across that street to get hit, but good ole kind natured me interceded & foiled their plans. I was the target of a hit from the Frog Gang to get me out of the way. In retaliation they sent one of their goons to take me out that morning. He hid on the roof of the van where I couldn't see him and quietly slid inside when the doors opened...sticking to the roof. After I dropped the kids off at daycare ( cuz I guess he had at least an eighth of a conscious & didnt want the kids around) he struck. The mission was to jump on my face, blocking my view, causing me to lose control of the care and go careening into on of the many cow patures along the Daniels Extension, hitting of of the massive cows, totalling the van & possibly ending my life. Thank God he missed .. probably hit the side of my glasses instead of my face. God works in mysterious ways! But I know I will never again interfere in the war between frogs & turtles. Let them settle their own differences & leave me out!


Pt. II
11/15/08
After a night at the club... 3am...guess who makes a 2nd appearance, but IN MY HOUSE!! This is getting ridiculous.