How Hard Can it Be??

Meeting new friends... trying to be more sociable... and failing. I don't understand how people do it. I've never actually met up w/ people outside of a work or school setting. My friends are usually people I worked with or went to school with. Or maybe they are a friend of a friend that I worked or went to school with. There is one exception... my Internet friends.
I have groups of fellow moms that I will share thoughts & laughs with. What's our common bond? One group all had kids in the same month, the other group are all single moms. In both groups (of all women) I'm not the ring leader or all that outgoing, but they seem to think I'm a comedian! They think I'm funny, without even trying. Yeah, I like to make people laugh...but given my present situation I'm trying hard to make myself laugh and haven't really had the time to entertain others.
And you know, me being the tomboy that I am, I always thought that I got along better with men than I did with women. I guess the tides have turned. I can't seem to make ANY real male friends. I do still have the few friends I worked with, but they are hard to keep in contact. If I approach any other males, it's automatically taken as some sort of foreplay or something. Since when did "Hi, my name is........" become a precursor to " Do ya wanna get funky w/me... do you wanna wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna wanna? Men these days are getting real hard to figure out, & I just don't feel like wasting the short time I have on this earth in trying to figure the puzzle out. Let me tell you what I've come across:

• The Looking for friends guy- yeah he wants to make new friends like I do... but doesn't care to communicate. Doesn't like sitting at the PC typing, so emails or online chatting is out. Doesn't like sitting on the phone. I guess I'm supposed to stay in touch by snail mail.
• The Looking for the one that makes me laugh- claims he likes to laugh, have fun, likes to smile, very adventurous, the perfect gentleman. I guess I need to set up my mic & comedy routine for this one. Kinda hard performing for an audience that won't participate. Any comedian will tell you how they kinda get fed from the audience energy...so when we talk & all I get are 1 word answers... it's hard to build comedy out of that, sorry. What am I supposed to do, tickle you with a feather? What am I... hear to amuse you? I don't do props, I'm not Carrot Top.
• The I'm so Into You guy- I'm on the fence about this one. The problem may have been my issue alone, or maybe he really is a psycho & I needed to get away from him. I met this one guy one night at a club. After being felt on & groped by other men ( they thought that was dancing!) I finally found a guy that didn't have to be in my personal private space in order to dance WITH me. I thought that was so cool that I hung out with him for the night. He seemed nice, so we exchanged #'s to stay in communication. Of course in the very beginning he got the mandatory speech that I just wanted to be friends, wasn't looking to start anything... and he said he understood. Within 2 days he's asking if he could come over & give me a bath & massage. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is this the sort of thing friends do for each other?

I'm too tired to post more... but there are others. You know there are.

Oh David, I'm still waiting to hear from you