Internet Crush??

Could it be?? Is it possible?

Curvy and Confident - Khari

The artist/poet is Khari. Khari da poet.

My sister introduced him to me last night over dinner. At first I wasn't really paying attention, but his voice commanded I do so. His presence had me glued to the monitor. He had definitely entered my mind... and there he stayed. So I spent a conciderable amount of time finding him all over the 'net... mostly on myspace and as a member of Black Planet. He's definitely got his face out there- hope he doesn't mind my slight attempt at helping to promote him
It's been 24 hours now & I find myself daydreaming like I used to back in the wearing 1 glove for my future husband Michael Jackson days. I can't say I've felt this way in a while & I haven't even met the brutha! Well maybe I should just spend a little time into trying to make it happen. With today's technology, who know's who might be willing to hook me up!

Hmm... some may ask whatever happened with Punk? Yeah I would be nice to meet him... but honestly Punk didn't touch me, he didn't speak to me, he didn't do anything for me like this brutha right here! Sorry... but I'm still waiting for him to contact me anyway. COME ON DAVID!

Where are you?

Hmmm.... recently someone commented that they visited my blog & didn't see any pictures of me. That tells me 2 things. I've been spending too much time just talking about what's on my mind... what's bothering me... and that person didn't bother to go too deep into the blog! DUDE!! It started out as a hair blog- nothing but pictures of me!! lol

Well here's me on a night when I felt really cute. I was on my way out... to the club of of course. I can remember having a lot of fun dancing that night. Still disgusted that guys don't know how to dance w/ a woman without having to grope her, but it's alright. My 2 legs still work & these Converse Chuck Taylors were made for walking. NO I DIDN'T WEAR THEM WITH THIS OUTFIT but you get my point.

2 of my favorite things pictured here.... my favorite friend & my favorite hat! We've been best friend since Kindergarten....she's stuck w/me now!

A friend of mine sent me a You-tube link to a video from an artist named Taurus Riley. The name of the song is "She's Royal". That night the song truly lifted my spirits... simply because of lyrics like :

She’s royal, yeah so royal

And, I want her in my life.

I never knew anyone so one-of-a-kind,

no...The way she move to her own beat

She has the qualities of a queen, She’s a queen so (supreme..2)Ooo Ooo

what a natural beauty

Nuh need no make-up to be a cutie...She’s a queen, she’s a queen

And when they ask what a good woman’s made of

She’s not afraid and ashamed of who she is?

She’s Royal, yea so Royal.

And I need her in my life. Never knew anyone so one of a kind

Until the light that I see in her eyes...

Oooh, sing it brother man! Finally I felt validated for not being a make-up slave! Special occasions... sure! But I'm glad that there is a man that can recognize a beautiful face without all the war-paint that is pushed on our society today. Thank you Taurus.... and thank you...you know who.

So my question today... it where is the king that can truely appreciate the unhidden beauty seen before you? lol That's alright. I'm just looking for a friend right now anyway.

Tune in next time when I talk about the Prototypes I've created....

I wanna meet your boyfriend...(Open letter)

Dang, divorce can be so ugly. This started out so amicable, but now .....wow. It's getting ugly in here.
A few weeks ago I was greeted with a sort of growling/intimidating request.
"And I want to meet your boyfriend"
"Huh?"
"I said I want to meet your boyfriend! You got a problem with that?"
This request has thrown me for a loop. Honestly. A boyfriend? After what I just went through I'm supposed to have a boyfriend now? What makes you think I even HAVE a boyfriend anyway? I'm not the one that packed up, faked living w/ a friend & almost immediately moved in with someone new...not only that, but introducing the kids & having them spend the night in her place... all the while deceiving their mother to think you were staying with another friend. Oh what a tangled web...you tell one lie followed by another and another. Don't you ever get tired of it all? I mean really!

I'm happy you did find someone else that's willing to put up with the lies, the BS, carryout all your demands & such. So so so happy for ya'll. But my boyfriend? Why after all this time do you ask to meet him? What difference does he make in the scenario at this point? You see... kinda like that Kelly Clarkson song...

• Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk.
• Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt.
• Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me....

So sorry to disappoint you, but you won't be meeting my boyfriend any time soon. Why? Cuz I have to meet him first!

The standard has been set SO HIGH now I'm not sure if I'll even be able to date again... but I'm not worried. The next man in my life....whoa, he's gonna be something special. Much better than anyone I had before. Now I ain't sayin' I'm a gold-digger.. but I ain't messing w/ a broke..broke...
Anyway.... sorry to burst your bubble.... but I'm not like you. I'm not in a rush to hook up because I cannot stand on my own. I'm taking my time so I can get it right this time. And if I ever fall in love again, I will be sure that that man is MY FRIEND! Not sure you even know anything about that.

And David- unlike all the other groupies you have.... I wasn't trying to DATE you. I'm not your type anyway. I just thought you would be cool people to be friends with!

Holier than who??

Recently someone made an attempt to insult me. The remarks made were that I was acting as if I were " Holier than thou". To that I say "THANK YOU".
It means that there has obviously been a change from the woman I used to be. That it is obvious that I am living my life in a more Christianly manner that I was before. That I'm not faking it... I must be really doing it. For that I say THANK YOU and I'm sorry.... your attempt to knock me down yet again has failed.
"But thou, oh Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head."
"I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people that have set themselves against me round about"
You can keep trying... but you cannot & will not hurt a child of God.
I don't feel I'm holier than anyone. I am a sinner. I always have been... and as long as I'm human I believe I always will be. But there is a difference in the way I lived before & the way I live now. I am SO GLAD that the light is bright enough to be seen through all my troubles, pain, & the turmoil I go through...that someone can see that I am at the very least TRYING to be a woman of GOD.
I know I'm not there. I'm not perfect or anywhere close to it. Each day I try to take 1 more additional step towards my Lord & Savior. There is evil all around & it's hard to resist... but I continue fighting it.
Lord, give me strength.....and give me David Otunga too!!
I AIN'T FORGOT ABOUT YOU MAN!!

Love?

I can't supply the video this time... embedding disabled by request. But here's the link & here's the lyrics:
LOVE by Musiq Soulchild

Verse 1:
Love....
So many things Ive got to tell you
But Im afraid I dont know how
Cause theres a possibility
Youll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From then on I knew that by you
being in my lifeThings were destined to change cause

Hook:
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first

Verse 2:
Many days Ive longed for you
Wanting you
Hoping for the chance to get to know you
Longing for your kiss
For your touch, your feel, your essence
Many nights Ive cried from the things you do
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you
I know that youre real
With no doubts and no fears
And no questions

(hook)

Verse 3:
At first you didnt mean that much to me
But now I know that youre all I need
The world looks so brand new to meNow that I found love
Everyday I live for you
And everything that I do
I do it for you
What I say is how I feel so believe its true
You got to know Im true
(hook x 2)


See what happens when Valentine's day comes around the corner....dang it. I hate this time of year. MAYBE DAVID CAN HELP ME CHANGE MY MIND??? HOOK ME UP W? ONE OF YOUR ATTORNEY FRIENDS AT LEAST?!?! lol j/k I will continue to mention your name til you contact me in one way or another.... keep playing the waiting game if you want to!

Oh... & by the way, here's my follow up:

Introducing a friend....

This beautiful woman is Adanita Ross. She was originally a coworker/friend of my neice. Eventually she became my friend as well. She kind of kids me about my obsession with David Otunga and such, but when we are not working hard at our jobs we will email each other constantly about life situations. She's so cool she even let me make her into a cartoon!

Of course it doesn't hurt to kind of latch onto someone that is so talented! When she blows up I will be able to say " THAT'S MY FRIEND YA'LL!!"

OH COME ON NOW!!! I GOT PUNKED!

In 2007 I have truly learned how blessed I was.... things were really coming around for me. It's sad that certain aspects came to an end, but in truth it was coming for a long time & I was dragging my feet about it. But that's neither here nor there. Someone out there is PULLING MY LEG!! Then again I guess I set myself up for such...I mean when you are such a fan, can you really beleive when the actual celebrity comes calling? Like that " LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!" guy... has he met her yet? So today I sign in & find a comment left on the 1st page dedicated to my latest celebrity crush... guess who. Haven't you been reading in the last 2 weeks! It's David Otunga...aka "Punk" from that show "I Love New York II" on VH1. Yeah, a comment from David. I'll beleive it when he emails me personally a photo that cannot be found on the several .Myspace pages that are floating out there! I'm not trying to marry the guy, I'm not trying to start a romantic relationship at all (not that I would refuse if he offered!), but I thought he would be a nice person to know. And I think he would like to get to know me as well! I mean come on! Everyone that has gotten to know me in some way or fashion has not regretted it one bit! And everyone can always use a new friend, lol. So yeah, DAVID... if it's really you Holla back.

MMM... Pineapple!! FINALLY!!

No, David didn't call or write me yet... but I'm still hoping :) David, you're missing out on a great friendship here! Think about it! If you ever had to come visit sunny SW Florida you know you'd have a place to stay!

I say finally because I can really see the growth in my hair since the fall out of cancer treatment in 2004. 4 years now...& today I can finally pull it all into 1 ponytail! I got my Pineapple as Brunsli called it!

And that is my PINK sweater hoody I got from the American Cancer Society as a thank you for my fund-raising efforts last year in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer campaign. I didn't know that they gave out great stuff like this when you raise some serious bucks! That gives me even more incentive to raise more $ next year. Maybe I'll start my campaign over the summer for the event in October?

Still no call... no email... no nothing

DAVID OTUNGA!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!
A friend of mine hooked me up with the song " Stormy Monday". We were talking about the music we listen to when we're in that "Woe is me" mode. He just went through a divorce & here I am going into one....so he kind of guides me through the upcoming emotions I may experience. As bad as this may sound, I just haven't been this blue yet. I haven't had time with everything else going on around me...

How Hard Can it Be??

Meeting new friends... trying to be more sociable... and failing. I don't understand how people do it. I've never actually met up w/ people outside of a work or school setting. My friends are usually people I worked with or went to school with. Or maybe they are a friend of a friend that I worked or went to school with. There is one exception... my Internet friends.
I have groups of fellow moms that I will share thoughts & laughs with. What's our common bond? One group all had kids in the same month, the other group are all single moms. In both groups (of all women) I'm not the ring leader or all that outgoing, but they seem to think I'm a comedian! They think I'm funny, without even trying. Yeah, I like to make people laugh...but given my present situation I'm trying hard to make myself laugh and haven't really had the time to entertain others.
And you know, me being the tomboy that I am, I always thought that I got along better with men than I did with women. I guess the tides have turned. I can't seem to make ANY real male friends. I do still have the few friends I worked with, but they are hard to keep in contact. If I approach any other males, it's automatically taken as some sort of foreplay or something. Since when did "Hi, my name is........" become a precursor to " Do ya wanna get funky w/me... do you wanna wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna wanna? Men these days are getting real hard to figure out, & I just don't feel like wasting the short time I have on this earth in trying to figure the puzzle out. Let me tell you what I've come across:

• The Looking for friends guy- yeah he wants to make new friends like I do... but doesn't care to communicate. Doesn't like sitting at the PC typing, so emails or online chatting is out. Doesn't like sitting on the phone. I guess I'm supposed to stay in touch by snail mail.
• The Looking for the one that makes me laugh- claims he likes to laugh, have fun, likes to smile, very adventurous, the perfect gentleman. I guess I need to set up my mic & comedy routine for this one. Kinda hard performing for an audience that won't participate. Any comedian will tell you how they kinda get fed from the audience energy...so when we talk & all I get are 1 word answers... it's hard to build comedy out of that, sorry. What am I supposed to do, tickle you with a feather? What am I... hear to amuse you? I don't do props, I'm not Carrot Top.
• The I'm so Into You guy- I'm on the fence about this one. The problem may have been my issue alone, or maybe he really is a psycho & I needed to get away from him. I met this one guy one night at a club. After being felt on & groped by other men ( they thought that was dancing!) I finally found a guy that didn't have to be in my personal private space in order to dance WITH me. I thought that was so cool that I hung out with him for the night. He seemed nice, so we exchanged #'s to stay in communication. Of course in the very beginning he got the mandatory speech that I just wanted to be friends, wasn't looking to start anything... and he said he understood. Within 2 days he's asking if he could come over & give me a bath & massage. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is this the sort of thing friends do for each other?

I'm too tired to post more... but there are others. You know there are.

Oh David, I'm still waiting to hear from you

Move over Shemar Moore...

A conversation held this morning with a friend:

Me: HEY!!! I need your help! 12:03 PM


Him: k 12:03 PM




Me: http://www.myspace.com/davidotunga This guy is in the Chicago area. Please find him, give him my number, & convince him that I am a great friend! He volunteers at Operation Push sometimes... 12:04 PM



Him: huh? 12:05 PM




Me: I WANT THAT MAN to be my friend... I can't get in a relationship w/ him so I have to settle for friend 12:05 PM



Him: who is he? 12:06 PM




Me: Punk from I Love New York II 12:06 PM



Him: ahhh 12:06 PM

ok riiiiiiiiiiiiiii 12:06 PM

ill get right on that 12:06 PM




ME: PLEASE DO before another skank gets her claws in him 12:07 PM

I'm putting my request out to EVERYONE in the world that knows me! If you know David Otunga, a.k.a. PUNK from I Love New York II, PLEASE tell him to holla at me! I invite you all to check out the previously mentioned myspace page where I 'borrowed' these photos. I don't know if I will get sued for this, but maybe since he is a lawyer he will have to contact me to cease & desist... therefore establishing contact & maybe I can have my Happily Ever After! LOL!