All I have... all I know... is me.

I participate on an online bulletin board...mostly about my kids & the relationships we have. There's also a cancer board... but thankfully it's slow going. No one has complained, no one stated any grief with anything I have said, but sometimes I really feel bad that I can't comment to help others out in their situation because I really don't know what it's like to be in their shoes, I just can't wrap my head around their situation because my head is already spinning about my own personal issues. Or because I'm in such a bad/unhappy area in my life I feel like my presence will drag others down as I have nothing good to say.
I have a group that all had kids in the same month... we call that the birth board. We were really tight, posting everyday, sharing jokes, sharing recipes, sending gifts, etc. Somehow my world just turned black & I cannot handle hearing/reading all the happy family news from them. They redecorate their houses while I struggled to hold onto mine ( foreclosure notice went up last week). They complained about their husbands not being home for a night or 2 due to work....you can guess how I felt about that. I'm not hating on them, but I just had to take a break. I go back & read every once in a while, but I honestly cannot keep up because of all the drama I have going on in my own life. My new home on the bulletin board has been the one for single parents. Some are starting to date after a dramatic break-up. Some are scared to start dating again ( or maybe it's just me). Some are dead set on not dating right now... they know they're not in the right place to do so ..... oh, wait... that's where I am. Not in the right place to start dating again.
Just like when I joined the birth board & had trouble remembering people's names, I have the same problems on this board. Some people stick out in my mind though. We seem to have quite a bit in common.
But back to what I was saying... on both boards you have people that post about certain situations in their lives where they need help. I can't help myself. I want to help them, but I actually cringe when I see I've written "When I did that..." or "If I were there..." or "I always wanted". ME ME ME!!! I feel like everyone is going to think that I'm trying to make everything about me... and I'm not. I'm not that self-centered... I guess I just never learned how to effectively communicate that I can relate to certain areas.
And when someone has a problem that I REALLY have no experience with.... it just tears me up that I can't help them. I don't know how. At least I know how to listen when someone just needs to talk. THAT I can appreciate. For quite some time I had been wishing I had someone that would listen to me when I speak... lol... the few moments that I do speak. Well I did make a new friend recently. I listened to them.... they listened to me...we shared a few laughs as well as a few tears. I hope this really is the start of a great friendship.