..tell me are you up for the challenge...

A while back I posted the lyrics to my latest theme song of my life, "DAMAGED" by Danity Kane. Somehow on a long drive back home from a wonderful trip I started thinking about those lyrics. That line in particular that says:

"You gotta gain my trust... trusting is not enough.

Actions speak louder than words, you've got to show me somethin'.

My heart is missing some pieces

I need this puzzle put together again!"

I thought about how if I really were the subject singing this song, how I would basically be putting all the responsibility on some other man to heal my broken heart. That's asking a lot, isn't it? It's not the next man's fault that I have issues with being touched... issues with intimacy.... issues with trust... issues! It's not his fault, but I at least acknowledge the fact that I do have those issues. I would need for the next man to understand that I am working on them & need him to have patience as I re-learn how to love. It's not going to be easy for me. I'm just now getting to the point of allowing people to hug me again... baby steps honey! I'm taking baby steps here. I'm still sticking to my self imposed rule of not dating til next year, but at least now I can acknowledge that I would eventually one day be able to share my life with a special someone again. I just need to clearly define exactly what it is I would like & pray God brings him to me. I mean if Pastor Roxanne could pray for a a light-skinned man of God w/ wavy hair... and whadya know, she finds Pastor Rob....if He will do it for her, He will do it for me too. I'm just not ready to ask yet!