One...Two...Three...JUMP!

Ever been bungee jumping? I never have...and probably never will. But I can imagine what the experience would be like for me. I'll be all excited about the fact that I'm going to go.....wow..I'm really gonna do it! That is so cool. And then while standing in line I'll wonder what I am doing this for..what am I trying to proove? Who am I trying to proove it to? Is this something I REALLY want to do or is someone making me do it? Is this one of those challenges that I hate to back down from even when I know I should? I'll get closer & closer to the platform & have more & more questions about why I'm doing this. I mean it's supposed to be fun, right? You like that thrill of falling through the air. This is gonna be so cool. Ok-now you're on the platform.. do you fall facing forward or backward... SO MANY QUESTIONS!! Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my brain cuz I think WAY TOO MUCH! This is what you came all this way for.... this is what you paid the entrance fee for...just turn around & close your eyes if you're scared to look! UGH!!
Now is the moment of truth.... are ya gonna do it or not?????

Man...these things are scary sometimes :)

Becoming an author...

I have decided.... I'm going to write a book. When I was younger I used to keep journals. They contained my thoughts of the day, my dreams, my fantasies, my imagination gone crazy at times. But when my writing was no longer decorated with rainbows & daisies, I stopped doing it. Now I find it necessary to start again.. & this time have it published! I even came up with a very appropriate title.... "THE BS I PUT UP WITH!!"
I just wish I would have started writing while I was going through chemo, but I honestly didn't want to remember that time of my life. I concentrated more on my daughter learning to speak, my newborn son...learning everything around him. I didn't want to remember the shiny bald head, so I took no pictures. I didn't want to remember the pain I was feeling in my shoulders & back... or worse yet the pain of almost losing my nails on both hands & feet. I could have taken pictures of my fingers when they were all bandaged up, but there I was at work...typing with my pinky & a pen. Hmmm... PINKy... there's that color again!
But after chemo, after surgeries, after this, after that...it really hit me that I put up w/just too much BS in my life! Maybe if I document it, it will warn others to stay away from the potholes I've previously fallen into. Maybe my words will help another become stronger. Maybe someone will just finally listen to me & justice will be served! UGH!!