My hair is this... my hair is that...blah blah blah

It's been one of those days.... where I try to feel good about myself & I'm surrounded by those that want to shoot me down.
My mom was always there for me. She was my biggest support when I was diagnosed w/cancer & I went through chemo treatment. She helped me move on to a better job. She helped me move into a better house. Now she tells me she HATES my hair the way it is & wanted to know when am I gonna get it done.

I've been saying how I wanted locs since 2003... why didn't anyone listen to me then? I live in FL. Unless you have the $ & time to go to someone's shop & get your hair relaxed or pressed every other weekend, your natural hair is NOT going to lay flat & straight in this humidity. Especially with the length of hair I was dealing with. I really felt like I had no choice but either continue paying someone to braid my hair every month or loc it up. I tried doing braids on my own.... it wasn't too bad, but it was tiring! I like that the locs are more permanent & I definitely don't have to bother with taking it down again.

But man... such harsh words coming from someone you love.

All I want for Christmas....

Is John Legend's CD "Once Again"... and while you're at it I'd like an official copy of his first CD! If you can really make miracles..... I'd like HIM under my tree!lol

Seriously though.... I'm previewing his new singles "Save Room" & "Heaven" & man oh man I've loving what I hear. I love in "Save Room" as he sings:
Don't be afraid of a little bit of pain....pleasure is on the other side"
Was he talking to me? It's like he knew what I was thinking & what I'm going through!
I'm also enjoying "PDA" & "Slow Dance". I just wish I had time to really slow dance.....

Anyway, I invite you to hear it yourselves at www.johnlegend.com

Oh yeah... the holidays

Man those are some cool kids I got there!
So this is the start of the holiday rush for me. And of course since we've moved into this new larger house, Thanksgiving Dinner will be held here. My problem is that my mom doesn't seem to remember that I don't have the time for housekeeping like she does. Yeah, both of us work 40 hrs a week, but she doesn't have to care for 2 toddlers when she gets home. And after dealing with all that, I'm sorry but I'M TIRED! Hopefully I can get some cleaning done this weekend before she comes around.
I also have to start making my cornbread for the stuffing.... apple-sausage stuffing.. MMMMMMMM!! Did I tell anyone I'm not thinking about counting calories...I'm gonna eat whateva I want this year!

Fake body parts for sale!!

bodyperks (tm) - mocha nipple enhancement
Anyone ever heard of Bodyperks?
See, it's been close to a year I think. I created this blog to talk about not only my hair, but other things on my mind.
If you've been following my blog you know that I'm a breast cancer survivor. You know that I tried breast reconstruction & failed. You know that I had the implants removed & was using prothesis so that I could look more like a normal grown up woman.

Well lately I haven't been feeling like a grown up woman. I feel like I did as a child, stuffing my shirt to look like I got boobs! I find my 3 year old daughter doing the same- stuffing her shirt. She asked me the other day "what's that" pointing at my fake boobs. Can I tell her it's a fake boob? Do I say 'prosthesis' to a 3 year old? How can I explain why mommy's chest looks so different from hers? Wait- that just sounded stupid.
I did tell her she will get breasts when she gets older. In the meantime, I need to figure out my feelings. I have this fear of the fake boobs being noticeably fake. Sometimes I don't wear them at all. On weekends when I'm not trying to impress anyone I'll be as flat-chested at my little girl, but somehow I still want to feel like I'm a grown woman.
I think I found a little confidence booster with this product (though I haven't ordered it yet). I remember seeing something about it on Sex in the City on HBO. The girls put on these fake nipples & it was like "ALL EYES ON ME!!" Not that I'm really trying to attract that much attention, but I'm thinking to myself how cool would that be if I could put these fake nips in my bra over the prosthesis & look like I'm a bit chilly or perky all the time! Might even help me to feel sexy again. Sometimes I think the flat chest but huge nips might cause a lot of curious stares.... something I haven't had a lot of lately.

MY INCREDIBLE FAMILY!

That movie gets played so much in my house that 3 year old knows the dialog:
Honey?
Whaat?
Where's my super suit?
Whaaat?
WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT?
I... uh.... put it away.

& so on & so on.
When I saw her do that I hid that DVD for a while. Let her watch the Leapfrog that teaches ABC's & how to read!

San Francisco Pt.II

As we play around w/the camera... taking shots of each other, the blog famous Brunsli sold me 2 of her hair-ties.... somehow I thought I was only going to buy 1 but I couldn't leave the other behind! She gave me several helpful tips about caring for my new locs, told me I'm not doing a bad job for doing it myself, & basically lifted my spirit about the whole 'frizzy-head' ordeal! I've learned so much from her- wish we were local!

Since I don't have a lot of length to the locs/braids I can't be that creative yet, but I don't think I've seen anyone use it as an end-of-french-braid-ponytail holder yet! It's hard taking pictures of yourself & your hair in a lonely hotel room.....