OH MY BABY'S NOT A BABY ANYMORE!!!

I still can't believe that my baby will be a whole 2 years old tomorrow. To some that may such a "yeah, so what!" moment...but to other parents, you know how I'm feeling right now. Those moments when you realize your last child is growing up. His crib, walker, & high chair are all gone. He's eating w/ a fork or spoon now. He's trying to beat up his sister on a daily basis now (lol). I love that lil boy!

Well I braided, I banded, I washed, & I airdried this weekend. I got some nice lil crinkle braids, but I'm not exactly jumping cartwheels over them. I'm starting to get bored already. I have a steam roller set similar to Caruso that I've been using for years on my mini-braids, but they also started unraveling more when I use it. That's another reason I'm staying away from it for now. I really need to oil my scalp & count the braids I have....I'm estimating around 200.

Lil bit o'makeup?

Pooda-wooda (as my sister calls him) is so proud of mommy! I washed my hair & didn't un-ravel a lot of the braids as I feared!
I am such an overgrown tomboy! I never got into the makeup thing, but this morning on the way to work I decided to try something I hadn't done in soooo long... a lil bit of lipstick! I mean I will use Softlips or Carmex to keep my lips soft, but color??? Nah-I'm no good at finding the right color. But every once in a while I will find something good. During my chemo/bald days I participated in a program called "Look Good/Feel Better", sponsored by The American Cancer Society. They gave me a bunch of different things to try, but unfortunately I was going through so many issues that day I didn't feel any of the makeup they gave me worked! I did keep all of it & use some once in a while, like this morning. That's the MAC lipstick I got- & now it does make me feel better. And when I took this pic I was sort of amazed at how much I look like my older sister! before anyone get's overly concerned, I was not driving WHILE I took this pic.... I was stopped at the light.

And who could proove that point better than my own neice? Even though she's a different skin tone than I, people say we have similar features. I just wanted to get a pic of us side by side to see if I could see them. Maybe it's just the facial structure...

Lazy weekend

Not really doing much this weekend. Kinda cleaned up around the house & washed the kids' clothes, then got to messing about w/the blog! I finally figured out how to post links to the other blogs I like to see... so if you're name isn't there yet, don't be offended...I just haven't been to your blog, or haven't had the time to do the copy/paste in the template thingy yet! It'll get there, don't worry.

Blah blah blah.... random posting

I love my kids.... I love my kids..... I gotta remind myself that even though they will not allow me to just sit out here & surf the net all night about braidlocs & hair supplies by myself that I love my kids! This past weekend I took them to a park that had one of those 'water park/beach' areas. Thought I would be able to take a bunch of cute pics.... but those kids did not sit still for longer than 1.33 seconds! And forget about "Look at Mommy... say CHEESE!" lol We'll definitely be going back there again one day.
And speaking of babies... these are the babies hiding under what will one day be my long gorgeous locs! I am so amazed that the girl was able to braid this finest of fine short hair back there!
I'm loving the way it's curling up. There's this 1 loc that the end is curling in 2 different directions, like the ends of the Monopoly guy's mustache or something! I almost can't wait til the 1st wash next week.... or would that be too soon? Oh yeah- I heard you shouldn't wash new locs for at least 1 month. Guess I'll be doing the Seabreeze Antiseptic in the parts type of thing for a while.

HERE THEY ARE!!

My new Braidlocs are here! I am so excited about this new journey! I don't like the spaces, but I will learn to live with it. I knew my hair was fine/thin, but I didn't think it would be THAT thin. I imagine as the locs get older & they expand more the spaces will disappear. Please forgive my skin...somehow I've mananaged to revert back to teenage years & started extreme breakouts & the greasy look again :(


But of course with my excitement over my new look & had to be creative :)

Another week... & more work!

I've been just waaaay to busy at work & home to post anything this past week... sorry. I am really excited about getting my braidlocs done tomorrow. Being true to fashion I've already started worrying all my what if's! What if she does them too big, too small, too tight, etc. etc.
I really need to remember to let go & LET GOD! I'm sure when I told her my intention of letting the braids loc up ( & when I show her a picture of the size locs I would like to acheive) she will be able to give me the correct size, right?

OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!

Today's Public Service Announcement

Also previously stated, I'm a breast cancer survivor. I hadn't been very public about what I went through. As a matter of fact, while going through chemo the local news station wanted to do a story about me, but I turned it down because I didn't want the attention. Yes, at that moment I was fighting for my life here at home, but I had a husband fighting for his life over in Iraq & I thought his story was bigger. I've been told sevral times that my story needs to be published somewhere.... so why not start here?
I wasn't aware that I had a family history of breast cancer. It turned out my aunt (my mother's older sister)had it & died when I was youg from the recurrance of it. I really wish my mom would have let us know earlier on in life that it was in our family history. All I ever knew about was diabetes & high blood pressure.Anyway, I'm not sure I would even have the time to tell you the complete story! lol In short, I gave birth to my daughter in Dec. 2002. Then in 2003 I found I was pregnant again. But before I could get to the 1st pre-natal exam I had a miscarriage. I went to Planned Parenthood 2 months later for the routine Pap Smear & the nurse discovered I had a lump during the breast exam. She said it felt large ( I couldn't feel it... I had very large breasts at the time) and I should get a mammogram. I didn't have insurance & had trouble finding anyplace to have one done, especially since I was only 32 year old. As luck would have it, I found a hospital coupon to have one done for $50! They also did an ultrasound since the lump was 'suspicious'. From that they determined they couldn't tell if it was cancerous or not, so they tell me I should get it biopsied. And by some miracle I discover that was no regular miscarriage I had 2 months prior- that was the loss of a twin! So since I am still pregnant I was able to get state medicaid. Got the biopsy & it determined I was in stage 2 breast cancer-I forget the correct term, but it was in the ducts. As if my world weren't crashing down hard enough on me, I got this news 2 days after my husband found out his Naval unit was scheduled for deployment to Iraq in the following 2 weeks! During the lumpectomy they found it was also in 6/9 lymph nodes. My husband was allowed to come home for a visit before they actually 'shipped off' & I was scheduled for induction of labor, after all- I needed to start chemo ASAP & I couldn't do that w/ the baby still inside, right? BTW- my son was born 6 wks premature, but is doing just fine... didn't even need the NICU after delivery! I went through the 3 rounds of A/C, 3 months of Taxol, 33 rounds of Radiation, & 52 weeks of Herceptin treatment. I've had just about every side effect you will hear mentioned associated with chemo. During my Taxol treatment I had another mammogram that showed calcified tumors which could turn cancerous at anytime. My dr. gave me the option of having mammograms every 6 months to monitor them or a mastectomy. I opted for the bilateral mastectomy this time with reconstruction. Unfortunately the reconstruction also introduced me the wonderful world of Staph infection!

Thankfully all that mess is pretty much over now. No more chemo...the tingling in my fingers & toes have stopped, my hair is growing back, & most importantly I'M STILL ALIVE! The only big thing left to face is another surgery to remove the port & remove the other implant. Please pray my heart is strong enough to go through this without complication! I never thought I would be the 1/18 women having to face breast cancer at a young age. I didn't think I was at risk at all, but if given the chance I don't think I would change much of anything I went through. mostly because I feel God may be using me to help other young women to know this is not something that happens to 40 and over anymore. I am here to show that life is not over after diagnosis at such a young age. Actually, I have a friend that I met at the clinic during chemo who actually had a baby in the next year after chemo, so it's not necessarily the end of your family planning either!

I would like to thank you for reading this far... & please remember to check yourselves each month.
EARLY DETECTION SAVES LIVES!

This is me & the kids last Spring on one of my good days, showing off my new hair!

Tra's Microbraidlocks

So as I said earlier, I like taking pictures of my kids. My jobs has a lot of downtime with what I do, so in between making copies of videotapes & such, I like to play around w/ Photoshop. Lately I've been taking their pics & making them into Warhol-like masterpieces like this!

Ok, so it's not really a masterpiece but in this momma's eyes the boy is gorgeous & for someone that hasn't taken a Photoshop class I think it looks great!

I'm fretting about my hair this weekend. I wish I had a sister that lived near me that could braid my hair like I want. I also wish I lived in one of those larger towns that had those braid shops on every other corner that you can just walk in & get your hair done! That was so cool. I miss that about Tampa & Chicago. I really like this girl's hair..... check her out! This is what I've been wanting to do w/my hair, but can't find anyone in SWFLA to do it! I even met a guy at the park the other day who had these outstanding locs. He told me his wife is a loctian & gave me a # to contact her. Of course when I get home & call I find it's the wrong #!!! Anyway- look at Tra's blog. Tra's Microbraidlocks

So many loc blogs!

I don't know why my posts are posting out of order. For some reason they're all going under 3/2/06, even though today is the 6th! I'm still finding my way around this blogging thing. I am just in awe of all the beautiful loc blogs I am finding here. Yesterday I mentioned a blog for AllyH20. The address is http://www.allyh2o.blogspot.com/. Would be helpful to post a link, right? She has sisterlocks & I think they are gorgeous!
Today I had 2 dr. appts. to run to, then I took the kids grocery shopping w/ me. Now we're off to a Breast Cancer Survivor group meeting. Maybe I'll post more when I come back.

My hair (again)...

I've made an appt. to get my hair micro-braided like Tra next week.... so this will be the last weekend my hair will be "free". I washed & gave myself a deep conditioning. I am truely suprised at how soft it is, & I worry that the braider will feel it's toooo soft to even possibly loc! Well, before this weekend I had my own sorry set of micro-braids (crooked parts & all!) Some of the braids in the back were actually starting to hug themselves before I ripped them apart so to speak. I do feel this next set of braids should be a bit more successful.
Just to give you an idea of where I'm coming from- here's some pics of my head... people actually pay for the type of curly hair I got!










Today I saw the blog of someone named called AllyH20. VERY NICE sisterlocs there. Man, I wish I could afford sisterlocs. I wish there were a loctician in this area that did them!




This weekend was a braiding weekend for both my daughter & I. I rebraided her hair, then did the top of mine. So glad my hair is finally long enough to me to corn-row again, but that may not make much of a difference in the future... will it?

Making the change TODAY!

I'm so tired of starting, then getting frustrated & having to start over on so many different things. I'm starting this blog so I can see my thoughts on the daily issues.... & maybe friends will see them as well....& maybe I'll make new friends as well.
Let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm a mom of 2-sometimes 3, I'm a survivor of breast cancer, and I'm currently going through some journeys in my life. As a breast cancer survivor, I'm still trying to make the decision about breast reconstruction..... I take that back, I've recently made my decision. I tried implants last year & it didn't quite work out for me.... so I'm just going to be a breast-less woman for a while. As a matter of fact, I have an appt. w/ my plastic surgeon on Monday.
I'm going on a new journey w/ my hair. I tried to start some locs in 2003, but 5 months into it I lost them when I had to start chemo. Now my hair is grown back ( not as long as it once was, but enough to start again!). I tr1ed putting in some braidlocs last month. When am I ever gonna learn that I cannot correctly part my own head for braids??? Anyway- hopefully this weekend this set of braidlocs will come down & a new set will start.
I'm also on a new journey w/ my husband.... if I'll stay married or not. So many things are telling me we have come to an end of our marriage journey together- that we should just be joined as parents to our children. I just don't feel the same 'oomph' about being in love w/him as I once did more than 10 years ago. I do still love him, but it's just not the same. Plus I still have issues about trust- & you know how that can go.
OH- I forgot to add that I LOVE taking pictures of my kids... so you can look forward to seeing my ever so gorgeous daughter & son!

& now it's bedtime for all of us, so until next time.....