Shoulda known something bad was coming....

Well, by going over thoughts in head & things I said in emails & previous blogs I should have known my world was about to be turned upside down. As I search the net this evening for inspiration, looking for reasons to keep my head up & know tomorrow will be a better/brighter day, I find none. Instead I find news that someone I truely love is about be in a world of hurt. All he had to do was wait a few more years for me to finish high school & I would have been ALL HIS, but I guess he had an image to keep up... can't waste time wait on a lil kid to grow up & become his wife. If I remember correctly he married Juanita on the Labor day weekend in 1989.... my 18th birthday. Just pour the salt right into the wound & rub it in why doncha! Well I really pains me to see that after 17 years, Michael & Juanita Jordan are calling it quits. It shoulda been me. Sure he may have cheated on me, still had a gambling addiction, & all the other problems that he has now, but I WOULDA BEEN HAPPIER in that misery with him than the misery I'm feeling today! Still got love for #23.

Good day/Bay day comparisons...

Some days I really do feel like that shaggy,loc'ed dog breed.... the Puli. I 1st saw it on one of those Pedigree dog shows that run on the USA network. Yeah, it's a cute dog, but I just wasn't hoping to achieve the same look on my own head! I know I've complained about the back view before, but just in case anyone forgot I wanted to remind you how much I'm not enjoying the look of the back of my head! From the side looks ok. The front looks ok. I just can't wait for the back to grow out... just for the purpose of cutting it even I guess. You know, I wonder if the locks in the back can be cut into one of those asymetrical bob type styles so that it can look a bit more professional. I can't tell ya'll how worried I get sometimes about management trying to find some legal loophole to tell me I can't work there w/ hair like this! Did you hear about the policeman in Baltimore ( I think it was Baltimore...) that got fired cuz of his locs? & now they're instituting some law requiring african-american employees to have their hair either cut really short in an afro style, or be chemically altered. Braids, locs, & corn-rows will no long be acceptable in 2007 by their standards (related news story). All I can do is shake my head in disgust & pray it never comes this way...

Past, present, future...

This was me in around 2001

& this was me in 2005...



This comparison shows me 2 things...1) I don't shop for clothes as much as I should & 2)I was on a good weight loss track. Here in Aug. 2005 I was at my most recent skinniest...probably 157lbs. Before you even ask.... I was in Grand Cayman, the bush was growing in the street & it's NOT what it looks like!
Although I didn't go about the weight loss in the easiest way (after the devastation of having to go through chemo & multiple surgeries due to breast cancer), I am glad I at least got the ball rolling. I fooled myself into believing I was supposed to have high blood pressure... me being over 200lbs had nothing to do w/it, it's just my family history! Well I have found that since losing the weight I am no longer anxious & worried when I have a BP reading. Although I still can't run a marathon (& never could!)I know I am in much better health now than I was just a few years ago. My new goal for 2007 is to try to be in even BETTER health than I am now! I was doing soooooo good, then I said unto all the cookies in the land "GET IN MY BELLY" lol
Some may think it's too skinny, but let's see what'll happen if I actually get down to 150lbs next year.

WOW what a difference....

I bit the bullet. I did something I never allow myself to do. It was so close to begging that I'd almost feel remorseful it there weren't evidence of a job well done. Remember the 1 loctician I tried calling a few months back? I didn't bother to try calling again.... I showed up at her shop. We consulted & made an appointment to tighten/clean up my roots. She said I had a lot of holes in the back locs & eventually the ends would have to be cut off. Brunsli was right.... the wavy ends probably won't loc. But cutting them now would mean loosing a lot of length, so I'll wait. I did hear happy news.....from the roots a lot of them ARE officially loc'ed! So now I will keep my hands out of my head for a while...I don't want to mess up this wonderful tightening job she did. She also trimmed off some stragglers & frizzies. I was so worried this cut would come out like Tra's, only because my hair is so much shorter than Tra's & I'm not sure it would be as cute if she cut it. Well as you can see, she did leave a lot of the curly cues for me to say an official good-bye at a later date. I am enjoying this loc'd hair!

BEFORE- Back view 10/2006

NOW- Back view 12/2006BEFORE- Top view 10/2006 NOW- Top view 12/2006

A happier looking ME!

Doing the best w/what I got!

That's what I'm doing. I can only do so much w/ the 2 hands God gave me. I'm so sorry that my mother doesn't agree w/my decision to loc my hair. Maybe it just occured to her as I hit the 9th month of loc-dom that this wasn't just one of my odd fashion trend phases that I tend to go through. Remember back in the 80's when everyone had that 1 streak of color in their hair? Remember when the bangs were a different color ( red, blue, even green!) lol. I didn't take it that far, but I wanted to!
Well God answered my prayers.... I found an actual loctician in my own town! I'm getting my locs palm-rolled for the moment, just to see if having it professionally done will cut down on the frizzy state that they are in. She looked at a few of my locs in the back & told me I had been latching wrong- I had a few holes in the loc so she will try to repair those as well. They have a full display of Taliah Waajid Products in the shop & I suppose she will use the "Lock it Up" gel on my locs. I'll be sure to post pics very soon afterward. I just can't wait until my locs are long enough to do Brunsli's hair ties justice!