Black Friday.... in more ways than 1

I can't even go into too many details about it, because I'm exhausted! Yes there was a Thanksgiving celebration involving turkey. There was the family gathering around the TV to watch a movie. There was shopping...and there was a funeral. Thanksgiving will never be the same for me or my friend J. Let me get some sleep & I'll tell you what I can about it.

Something in common w/the President

Unfortunately I think the new president & I will have something else in common. I mean we're both from Chicago (well, sort of), we're both black (well, sort of), both college educated adults & both affected by breast cancer in 1 way or another. Last night after I find this article online I met with a new acquantaince who after speaking for a few minutes had to ask me where I'm from. After I reply that I'm from Chicago, he gives me a sort of quizzical look. Then he says he doesn't want to insult me ... but I sound white!

Obama's Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy

Stunning Break with Last Eight Years

In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS' "Sixty Minutes" on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.But Mr. Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language."Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate - we get it, stop showing off."The President-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska."Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.

I just don't get it. Just because I speak proper English as my1st and only language...because I don't sound like Lil Kim or some rap artist...because I'm not loud & somewhat over-the-top like Oprah or Mo'nique...why is it that people think I sound white? Weren't there any black Valley girls that overused the words "Oh My God", "Like" & "Totally"? Ok, not comparind myself to a Valley Girl because I sure never said "Totally" as a response to any question or description....but really. How did I end up sounding white in everyone's eyes? I know how sometimes accents will rub off depending on your environment... but I've been around black people all my life. Even through college the majority of my crowd was other blacks, so HOW did I end up sounding white??

I beleive my daughter is going to end up w/the same fate. It's bad enough that I've doomed her to never being able to walk into a souvenier shop to buy anything with her name readily printed on it (it's not an outlandish name like Keylolo or LaQuisha, but actually a biblical name), but I see at 5 years old she has a real southern girl accent. LOL

A victim of amphibian assault.

Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd say... but I was. I think I was the target of a hit put out by the frog gang of the Ft. Myers area. Already mad that I don't open my garage door for them to hop on in freely anymore... they staged their assault in a different manner... and it's definitely taught me a lesson in being kind to strange creatures.
Tuesday on my lunch break I hopped in the car & started to drive over to the Wal-mart store. While waiting at the intersection for traffic to pass I noticed what I think was a gopher tortoise about to leave the grassy area & walk straight into the 4 laned street to who knows where... but it never would have made it. On 4 lanes of traffic in lunch hour no one would stop for a turtle crossing... & I just didn't want to be a witness to a run-over so I pulled my car over, hopped out, grabbed the turle & put it back in the grass facing the pond. I didn't get a thank you or anything...but I know I saved it's life.
The next morning on my way to work, driving down a similar 4 lane road something SMACKED me in my right ear, then kind of slithered or crawled down my neck. No the passenger side window wasn't open, so it's not like someone threw something that just happen to fly through the window. As I was stuned and grossed out... not know what the heck that cold, wet thing I just felt was... I hurried to pull over to the side of the road. I had to investigate. I jumped out of the car & looked back behind my seat to where whatever it was could have fallen. I see my black nylon jacket now has tiny wet footprints... slime prints on it. Then it occurs to me...IT WAS A FROG and now it's in the car unseen! I have too much stuff in the car. I can't find it. I gotta drive to work with this thing possibly hopping around in the car to maybe hit me again! EEEEWWW!
So I open the windows & drive on to where I was going in the first place. When I parked & got out, I noticed the frog sitting on the front passenger seat next to where I was... sitting BY MY LUNCH BOX! Oh no, it's got to go. O called in to ask one of the techs to get a broom or something because I was not about to take my eyes off of it & I didn't want to touch it. While the tech sweep that thing out I racked my brain trying to figure out where it came from.. how it got in the car to begin with.. why it chose to jump on me!
It took a while, but I found the answer. There was an organized hit on that turtle that I saved the day before. He was the mob boss from the bog. Running thang down at the slough & the frogs had enough and decided to take him out. They made the arrangement for him to take that walk across that street to get hit, but good ole kind natured me interceded & foiled their plans. I was the target of a hit from the Frog Gang to get me out of the way. In retaliation they sent one of their goons to take me out that morning. He hid on the roof of the van where I couldn't see him and quietly slid inside when the doors opened...sticking to the roof. After I dropped the kids off at daycare ( cuz I guess he had at least an eighth of a conscious & didnt want the kids around) he struck. The mission was to jump on my face, blocking my view, causing me to lose control of the care and go careening into on of the many cow patures along the Daniels Extension, hitting of of the massive cows, totalling the van & possibly ending my life. Thank God he missed .. probably hit the side of my glasses instead of my face. God works in mysterious ways! But I know I will never again interfere in the war between frogs & turtles. Let them settle their own differences & leave me out!


Pt. II
11/15/08
After a night at the club... 3am...guess who makes a 2nd appearance, but IN MY HOUSE!! This is getting ridiculous.

What I REALLY wanted to say is...

So I get a message that he intends to pick the kids up from school this Friday. Doesn't he work on Friday? Did his schedule change? I think it would have been nice to know that before I made my own plans with them... so I simply replied
Actually, I had plans w/ them for dinner w/some church folk. Can I just drop them off afterward as I've been doing?
NO courtesy whatsoever... I get this reply/attack from him
U done that thus far, controling my timeframe, what time r they going to b here
Why does every question I ask have to be about me trying to control something? I'm their mom! I can remember a certain Friday when he didn't even let me know that his schedule changed & they sat there at the daycare until 7:30!! So I try to co-ordinate pick-up and drop off times... is that wrong?
UGH!!! I JUST WANT TO GO OFF ON HIM SOMETIMES but I can't. It's not in my nature to do that until I have really been pushed. As a child of God I'm not going to let him do that to me. Instead I drop the plans I had & reply
Oh...my bad. Do whatever you like. I'll pick up on Sat. by 4pm.
but I need to get this off my chest in 1 way or another so what I REALLY wanted to say was:
That "controlling your timeframe" excuse is getting old... you need to come up w/ something new.
Are you saying you are off on Fridays now? Is this an every Friday you are off thing so I don't have to worry about transporting them for your weekend visits? Please explain to me how I am controlling your time on the weekend visits when I was not aware that you even had the extra time to spend with them? Last Friday's visit for example, had I KNOWN that you were home I would have agreed to let you take them Trick -or treating.. or let them miss out... whatever you chose cuz it's YOUR time. I didn't know you were home! All I ask for is the courtesy of letting me know when your schedule changes as far as your visitation times w/ them so that the pick-ups & drop off's can be properly co-ordinated and I don't go making promises of special plans with them that will be broken.

Controlling your time is the last thing I want to do, so go ahead & let the school know you are picking them up ( cuz I'm not controlling your pick ups, remember?). I'll pick them up by 4pm on Sat. so you can spend every second w/them before you go to work since time is such a priority on your visitation time-clock

Don't touch me....it hurts

Today on my message board they talked about different quirks that people have. Some people can't stand when food touches. Some can't drink milk 3 days before the expiration date. One of my quirks... I don't like to be touched.
During the chemo stage when I was in the process of losing my nails... it hurt to wear socks. It hurt to type. It hurt to comb my daughter's hair. It just plain hurt to touch anything. Then there was pain in my shoulders.... where I just wanted to do the Nestea plunge into a pool of water or cotton candy or something soft... because everything just hurt and I just wanted to float for a while. And of course with everything I was having to endure at the time people would want to come up & hug me or at the very least a pat on the shoulder. I wanted to run... but it would hurt. I just didn't want to be touched at all.
In 2005 we had a family reunion that I was regretting because of the people I hadn't seen in years who would want to hug me. UGH... I almost didn't want to go at all!
Of course it doesn't help when the person that says they love you doesn't believe when you try to explain your pain... so they do things to hurt you even more.
So here it is 4 years later. I would prefer not to wear shoes or socks....but I will when I'm out. My fingers are ok, except when I'm braiding her hair. After a while I regret starting it & just push my way through it. My baby girl has to be pretty, right?
But hugs? Kisses? General affection? I'm still no good at it. The kids try to hug me... & I have to catch myself in mid-thought...thinking "do I HAVE to hug you again???". Yes... you're the mom, you HAVE to give hugs to the kids! And what about your new man? How can I have a man in my life without the hugs, kisses, & such? It's not possible. Maybe the issue is more of the fact that I can't initiate it. Then again I haven't had any real incentive to initiate anything recently. Nothing is happening. In recent months I've hugged a few people. I've enjoyed a kiss or 2. But I never started it. There's something about me that just draws people in.. and sometimes I just want to turn it off!
I'm taking baby steps. After a request for a hug...a long hug... a gentle caress...stroking my hair.. small kiss here...that's not so bad. Yeah- it all starts out nice...it's taking it further that scares me. It's letting someone get that close again that scares me. I don't know when I'll be able to do that again. It hurts to much. I told my husband it hurts...I've told others it hurts. Maybe I need to learn to be more assertive as I'm not being heard or taken seriously. Life shouldn't be so hard.
My daughter came up to me today & gave me an eskimo kiss. That was the sweetest thing I've had in a while. Minimal contact.

Historic moment..

A clever little thing sent to my cell phone recently:

Rosa sat... so Martin could march.
Martin marched.... so Obama could run.
Obama ran... so our children & grand-children could FLY!


I really love that one. The feeling I had that night knowing that in the future I will be able to tell my son that he can go as far as he wishes...that there would be no excuses in him not succeeding but for himself.
I can't begin to describe the feeling I had the 1st time I saw the collective picture of the 44 Presidents... mostly in Black & white.... but of course they were all white...until NOW.
I hate that his race had become so much of an issue in this election... but this is America. They talk about his inexperience... his views on abortion... his views on foreign oil... blah blah blah... but you know it all came down to that 1 thing. I think the fact of bringing the controversy w/ Rev. J. Wright up again just a few days before the election was dispicable & showed just how scared the Republican party was. And felt they had to scare the rest of the country into believing Obama's former (?) church was somewhat racist & hateful. Hmmm...Point the finger & you get 3 pointing back at you!
I am glad that the country is willing to make a change for the better. Thank you America.

And stop sending out those hateful text messages... just cuz your candidate lost. Your horns are showing and it ain't funny.

Sorta Happy Halloween....

Well at least they were happy. 2 costumes in 1 day! At school my son's class had a pajama party... costumes were not allowed. And just to make the morning easy my daughter had to dress as a character in a book they read . She read "Sleepy Time Ollie" so she also went to school in PJ's.

Later on we put on the official costumes. He was Thomas the Tank Engine & she was Dora the Explorer. I couldn't decide what I was. 1st I was just a red-head. Then I saw it looked pretty good so I became "Hot Mom". Then I got the sunglasses & became "Hollywood Mom", imagining living the life of J. Lo or Angelina. But gosh it got kind chilly for FL... down to a whole 74 degrees (BRRR!!!) My bare shoulders coudn't really take it so I had to add the sweater, then I thought about the newest buzz word. I became "SOCCER MOM" (especially w/ that chips & soda in hand!). I just wish I had a soccerball to go with it! Should have thought of it sooner.